Intimacy in Marriages

 

Throughout the week, we have learned about a subject that sometimes can be a little uncomfortable, depending on how it was talked about, but also essential to know so it can help us in relationships and marriages. We have learned about the kinds of relationships that couples have with each other when they are intimate. One of the sets of data that we looked at is when men and women reach the high peak of sexual pleasure. For men, they reach it around the age of 18 or 19, for women, they reach it around the ages between 30-35. We also talk about the kinds of chemicals that are released when pleasure is felt, for example the chemicals we talked about was dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

Oxytocin is the chemical where it helps us feel close to the person we are with. Oxytocin also comes into play for women after they give birth to their children and they want to be close to their children. One of the other models that we looked at was the circle between two factors of when couples are intimate. The circle model consists of when the couple feels safe, warm, and close, then on the other side of the circle, things can go sexual. We also focused on the “plateau” model, where at the beginning for intimacy to take place between the couple, they may feel excitement or arousal. Then when they act on that, they climax that is experienced is pleasure such as orgasms, etc.

Even though there may be a lot of benefits to being intimate, there is also a lot of downsides that could occur involving things that may involve intimacy or sex. For example, we live in a society that is very pornified. The constant access of pornography can make it difficult for couples to have an intimate relationship where they can trust each other and be able to please each other. Another factor that can come into play was the social norms where people surround themselves. There are some scenarios where that happens, such as what we see in either movies or shows, when people may be attending a party and having a good time with people they consume alcohol and either are with someone specific or meet someone specific at that party.

 Later on, they may share a kiss or a romantic moment at the party with each other and then they become intimate together by the end of the night, then in the next morning they wake up together and everything is good. That kind of scenario has been proven to be more false and adulterous as it could be. Another thing we focused on was the differences between the men and women in intimate, sexual relationships. As previously mentioned in the circle model, the woman wants to feel safe, warm, and close for them to be sexual with their husband, and the men want to be sexual in order to feel safe, warm, and close. Some of the reasons involve how men don’t have some of the hormones that women have to feel what they both feel.

One of the most common phenomenon is when women and men need advice in their relationship or marriage, the men may go to old girl friends and women may go to old guy friends, like they are going to give good advice. Eventually, they may be more and more dependent on those people and may eventually lead to physical infidelity. In those situations, the friends are not actual counselors, they instead show support for the person they are talking to and unfortunately can lead to a bond outside of the relationship or marriage that the other person is in.

Some of the benefits that come from intimate relationships may involve trust, safety, love, and compassion. When those are felt, those can go up because they feel those things when they are with their spouses. Another benefit is those kinds of actions can bring the couple closer together, developing a bond that can help them have a family and help maintain and love each other throughout their lives. There are many downsides, but also many benefits involving intimacy, in the end, it all depends on how both individuals, that are together, use it.