Transitions in Relationships

We continued our focus involving the different aspects and models involving dating. We continued to talk a little more about the 4 step model of dating, as we reviewed, the steps were dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. We focused on how the steps engagement and marriage were different between the past and the present. We mentioned how people propose or get proposed to in many different ways. In the past, the typical way of asking someone to marry them, they asked the parents for permission first and then they ask the person that they want to marry to marry them.

Nowadays, it happens in different ways. One of the ways happens like if it’s a negotiation, where they talk about their needs and how they want their lifestyle to be and if they both agree, then they get engaged. Other ways could involve putting on a show, asking them casually, or other ways to make the proposal a big deal. Some of the things that involve an engagement are some things that both the couple and its family members may need to think about. Some of those things involve planning the wedding. The different ways that people may plan and pay for the wedding is from family, a loan, credit cards, savings, or possibly delaying the wedding until they have the finances they need to pay.

While the idea of delaying a wedding may be one of the options, there is a consequence, especially with any of the other options. While delaying, the wedding, they may also be delaying the marriage, purchasing a home, having children, or even education. The different options that the couple decide between lead to different outcomes. If they pay with loans, they may start the marriage in debt is another outcome. Those are some of the many things that the couple need to think and discuss together when they are planning their future together.

While focusing on the aspects and the four-step model involving dating, we also discussed the transitions that the couples go through in those stages. We also specifically focused on the transition to married life for the couples and the different trials and adjustments they go through when they are newly married. While transitioning through those four different stages of the relationship, it is very important to have direct communication with each other since they are both going through those transitions together, so it is best to work together. Transitioning through the stages gets more and more difficult, the first two stages aren’t as difficult as the last two stages. But they all require effort and time from the couple if they are willing to work together to help make their relationship last.

We also spent time focusing on the marriage transition that the couple go through when being recently married. All of them go through different adjustments that may be either simple or difficult to transition to. Some of those things that they adjust to may involve different eating and cleaning habits, organization, roles, handling finances, even times with jobs and education. Some of the most difficult ones that on average is difficult to a lot of couples would be organization and communication. That is because the people have grown up in different ways and have communicated with different people in different ways as well.

When adjusting to married life, it is always normal to have difficulties. But it is important to always communicate directly and to address each other’s needs and feelings. As we hear many times, communication is very essential for all couples who may be working together, struggling, or adjusting. Marriages often experience trouble in lack of communication. Some ways to help with those troubles is to be direct and honest with each other, address each other’s needs, compromise where needed, and try putting what was discussed into action.